Eat better chikin
September 2, 2015
Liam O’Connell is a great guy. He’s funny. He’s handsome. He’s one of three captains of the debate team. He has his faults, which is understandable. Everyone does. Just to give you an example, he’s very wrong. He thinks Zaxby’s is better than Chick-fil-A. You wouldn’t think he’d be the kind of person to be so disgustingly wrong about something, but he is. He honestly thinks Zaxby’s is the apex predator in the fast food industry.
Zaxby’s, founded in 1990, offers a fairly similar eating experience to Chick-fil-A: chicken-based meals for breakfast, lunch or dinner.
But wait, there is a difference. Zaxby’s doesn’t sell any kind of breakfast meal. Whereas Chick-fil-A offers items like the chicken biscuit, the sausage breakfast burrito, and the Chick-fil-A chicken platter, Zaxby’s offers no such option.
There is no opportunity for the tired Peachtree City teen in the morning if they go to Zaxby’s. There’s no chicken minis or chicken biscuits at Zaxby’s. You didn’t get free coffee from Zaxby’s last February. Chick-fil-A is the simply better choice for a quick meal in the wee hours of the morning.
Not only does Chick-fil-A actually offer breakfast meals, but they’re also one of Starr’s Mill’s biggest sponsors. Chick-fil-A works with SMHS’s entrepreneurship class to sell chicken biscuits in the rotunda in the morning. They give out vouchers for discounted meals, and their food is served at a lot of the school’s sporting events.
This involvement is a wonderful way to not only support our school but also to help the young students who see a future for themselves in business and want to hone their entrepreneurial talent. They’re more than willing to help the school however they can.
Chick-fil-A also does phenomenally better with the toys in their kids’ meals. Children love toys. That’s a fact of life. Entire franchises get created with the sole purpose of selling toys. Look at Transformers, He-Man, or Go-Bots. Children are obsessed with toys. Nothing is certain but death, taxes, and a child’s love for his toys.
Restaurants know this, which is why almost every fast-food place offers some kind of kids’ meal, with a cheap plastic doohickey included. McDonald’s gives out toys, as does Burger King. Even Subway gives away collectors’ lunch bags. Chick-fil-A gives children a wide variety of great toys, ranging from educational books, to fairytale collections, to little toys that encourage kids to be creative and imaginative.
Zaxby’s does not. They offer kids’ meals. Just smaller, slightly less salty portions of their normal meals, but no toy comes with it. There’s nothing to distract your snot-nosed little brat while you try to eat in a fleeting moment of calming silence.
At Zaxby’s, you don’t order chicken fingers with french fries. You order a salt-lick, with a side of chicken and fries. You get a salt shake with ice. You get a stick of salt soaked in pickle juice. I’m fairly certain that if you ate Zaxby’s more than once a day, you would get dehydrated. I don’t mean “give me a glass of water” dehydrated, I mean “I’ve been walking in the desert for 40 days and have had no nourishment” dehydrated. If you dropped a Zaxby’s Club Basket in a pool, it’d probably soak up all the water.
Chick-fil-A is obviously the better choice for an eating experience. Your annoying child gets a toy to keep them distracted. You get a cheap, filling meal. You support our school. Sure, Chick-fil-A is often busy, but you should just view that as proof to its superiority. Chick-fil-A doesn’t drown their food in salt. Seriously.
