The mind is often a place of constant turbulence where anxieties and painful memories can run rampant. Traumas induced by the actions of others have the potential to carve out a space in the mind, fester, and erupt in unpredictable ways.
“The song is a reflection of my struggle with OCD and anxiety as a response to traumatic events, and the electrical storm of emotions that exists inside my head, filling it with noise that never seems to leave, as I search for a few seconds of respite and quiet from it,” Paloma said. “‘my mind (now)’ is an embodiment of the act of creation in the form of art and writing as a coping mechanism that comes out of the overwhelming noise and chaos of the mind.”
In the song, Paris Paloma begins with the quiet repetition of the words “What did I do wrong? Will you tell me what I did wrong, what did I?” The one voice begins and gradually others are added to harmonize and create an almost dreamy effect.
The building effect of the intro leaves the listener breathless when everything goes silent, Paloma gasps, and the beat drops, giving way to the bass of the drums and the power of her own voice.
She sings, “And the shrapnel digs in, my mind has not been silent since you.” The lyrics refer to a specific person that resides, persistent, in the crevasses of her mind despite her clear hatred toward them and what they did to her.
The inconsistent, yet effective composition of deep drums, her strong and fluid voice, the harmonies, and her own screams echoing in the background allude to the chaotic nature and strength of the human mind. The song itself examines emotional turbulence in a way that leaves the listener reflecting on their own experiences with mental health.
Paris Paloma is an alternative indie singer-songwriter from Derbyshire, England. She is most well known for her song “labour” and recently performed this song on Colbert’s “Late Show” alongside The Resistance Revival Chorus. She is also currently on her US tour for her debut album, “Cacophony.”
The song “my mind (now)” was released as a single prior to the release of the “Cacophony” album but appears in the album as well. It currently has almost over 5 million streams on Spotify. Some other notable songs by Paris Paloma include “as good a reason,” “yeti,” and “drywall.”
You can listen to Paris Paloma’s “my mind (now)” on all streaming platforms.